Dear Neil Sedaka
I was watching tv in bed with my hubby, B, last night. I
thought to myself, “He is so cool.” Then I began to wonder, “If society didn't normalize marriage and people living as couples, would he spend so much
time with me?” Obviously men spend a lot of time around ladies (or men) because
they are hoping to get some, but we are tied at the hip all the time. Does he
want to be tied at the hip or is this just what he thinks he is supposed to do?
I started to think about the things I do. Would I want to hang around me? How
did I get so lucky to hang around him? That’s when it occurred to me; someone had to blow the candle out on his night stand. I asked him to blow it out,
but because he was in bed he could barely reach it and so he was going to tilt it
to blow it out. I asked him not to tilt it because it would make the
melted wax go up the side of the candle and next time it would melt crooked, so he left it lit. I was fine with that
because I like candles to burn flat. I learned that you have to let the entire
top of a candle melt if you want it to burn down without the hole in the middle
of the candle. I don’t like holes in candles. I don’t know if any Neil Sedaka
songs mention candles. I don’t know if Brandon likes
candles, but they make the room smell nice. Kobe Bryant could probably use a
candle this week. He has gastroenteritis. I was surprised sweaty, infectious Kobe was
playing because I sure wouldn’t want to be out there with him. I am a germ-phobe, so I boil kitchen sponges a lot. The announcers
talked about how he was squirting from both ends or something like that. B told me that people who are
sick play all the time. So I asked if anyone had ever had diarrhea on the court
because someone could slip and fall or the ball could roll through it. He
didn’t think that had ever happened.
